In my Eyes
by Lover Dearest
Summary: Re-write of The Diary of Arya Dröttningu. Arya's thoughts beginning form her capture at Gil'lead, Eragon always saw deep stories in Arya's eyes. Will cover book four. Only this time, E/A happens. Rating will change.


Hey everyone, I'm back. :D

Re-write of my first Eragon fic, The Diary of Arya Dröttningu. This time I started back in the first book before Eragon even found her.

The first chapter is a little stretched because not much information was given but I will be going back at times and editing. (:

Hopefully you enjoy this one, reviews make me very happy. :)

X

_Day I_

_If imprisonment was the price that I owed for my foolish ignorance, then the price shall be paid. I deserved every _scratch_, which now flawed my body. Not even to mention the deep gashes and wide cuts. Never would I commit another wrong, death would be the only penalty for that. This was a reason I could not let my life go. My death would not fare well amongst… my kind._

_No names shall be mentioned within this ghastly place. I hope against all odds that this journal shan't be found. It is all I have to keep me company in the darkness, day and night alike. It may be in a tattered condition and yet I had grown a connection, somehow attached. Perhaps I have deluded myself into thinking that the journal may actually listen to my troubles. The strongest one could bond to with an inanimate object. It may not be much, though it was something._

_How I found this scrap that is a distraction, shall be secret whilst I am trapped within these repellent walls. My script rides unclear and uneven though this is due to the constant shaking of my hands. I write only with the feather of my boot and the blood of my wounds. I did not wish it to go to waste, of course, this could not be permanent. No matter how, I promise myself that I _will_ find a way out. I will. It may seem like impossibility at the moment though how many times have I landed myself into a seemingly death-end situation out of ignorance. If I survived once, I shall survive once _more.

_Before this, I cried very rarely, and when I did, it was subtle and I would be alone. Nowadays, it is all I could really do for entertainment. Think about how foolish I was, how everything could have been had I been more careful, and allow the silver tears to run. _

_Their footsteps. Tauntingly slow. I know that they are approaching and I know what they seek, the only way I manage to tell a time is from their arrivals... No, never will I give in to their demands. I could not commit such a selfish crime. What is one's life compared to the lives of so many others. I would sacrifice my existence should it ensure the survival of any innocent person._

_I hear their humourless laughs. I hear their mocking calls. They call me elf. 'Elf woman'. That is who I am to these humans… When it comes to the Shade, however, things change. He speaks to me as if he understands who I am. He could not! I breathed not a word. Nor shall I even write of it. I truly despise his company. His petty minions may do whatever they will to me, I am not affected beyond physical pain._

_Yet the Shade reaches beyond my surfaces, causes me to recoil from the pain. The pain in my mind, I cannot block him… It is so very infuriating that my food is tainted with their stupid drugs and poisons. He feeds me Skilna Bragh. It is an impossibility to resist for long and survive. After their visit, I must act. I must ignore the pain; my magic skills are unable to help me. The sleep, a trance. Perhaps it should slow the progress, perhaps… for a time._

_They are nearing; it matters not for they walk heavily and this gives away their distance. They believe it is killing me inside, they believe that they drear me, the slow thumps they take. A little, maybe. I do hope to get the 'session' over with and tend to my new wounds to the best of my ability. It is hard though I try to hold on. I try to hold on the the unbelievably small scrap of hope that is so far away, pulling out of my grasp…_

_I do not understand my will. What do I truly hope for? A saviour? As if that was a possibility. Who could find me? I myself do not know where I am… I am disgusted with myself. How could I lose it all? In a day. I can only hope that the blue egg is in safe hands. I can mention this for I do not even know where it had been sent. The transportation sucked the energy I had held. I know that I have done right, I am sure I could not fight the army of Urgals off. No, I did what was best. Mourn. That is all I can do now, and hope. Mourn, and hope._

_The hope comes to me when I am on the verge of sleep… I do not understand what it is, I feel as if an angel is watching over me. Of course, this is a ridiculous theory though I cannot help but think… I _truly_ can feel the eyes on me, watching, making sure I am safe, worrying… I never want that feeling to leave, false or not. I keep my faith alive from it, though I know it may all be in vain. Even so, it is better to have believed and lost than to have scoffed and died._

_What fools, if only I had my strength returned to me. They would not dare insult another elf ten lifetimes over. 'Elfy'. Honestly, they must know nothing. On the other hand, perhaps they do and they take advantage of my weakness. I would one day show them, they do not understand the persistence and resilience I store within me. One day, they shall be on their knees, begging for my forgiveness and claiming that they were forced to do such awful things…_

_Why in Alagaësia would the Shade wish them to address me as 'Elfy'. Perhaps it may annoy me slightly, but I never show my irritation. He could not know. I can see right through these men, as if they were glass. They take this as a little game. Oh what fun! It is most certainly _not_ a game. Their dark eyes are all I remember, all I see. Amongst the dark is the occasional red. Those are the most horrible moments. _

_I hear the rattle of the keys. It is amusing how clumsy their big hands are. I hear them fumble with the lock. It has been a while since I have smiled honestly. The smile I hold now is of satisfaction. The satisfaction of knowing that the men are still human. Though knowing how harshly I could befall death on them. Not being able to, due to the intoxication of the drugs found in my only source of food, is what breaks me. _

_I have tried, many times, to starve rather than eat what they serve. I do last for a length of time though I cannot last forever… The drugs are frustratingly long lasting and even if I freed my body of it, there is still the Skilna Bragh. It is a live flame travelling through my body. I cannot help but wince when I imagine it stream through my blood._

_I hear their cries of victory and now they taunt. If I could sigh in my script, that I would. It is best for me to go now, I do not know whether I shall ever live to write another word in this journal for the trance may not save me forever. I can only pray… It may not be elven, though something must help me now. My pride cannot stand in the way of what may save me. If only my angel was with me now, I would feel the safety. _

_If I ever return to you, my faithful journal, I shall be speaking of the angelic figure that saved me from this torture. It may be a long shot perhaps even delusional hope though I still believe… Until that very time._

_Arya._

X

As I said, it would be short. :)

I had to use the 'writing with blood' idea because how else could she randomly find a quill, ink, and well, yeah. :D

I tried to fit in everything that was given away in the books. Hopefully the next chapter will be longer and more satisfying. :) I felt a little repetitive but I'm not sure. Point out any mistakes and yup. :)

Tell me your thoughts, review. (:


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